We will do anything but teach alcohol education, consent education, legal definitions of rape… Also addressing changing public attitudes on key social issues like criminal responsibility while under the influence of substances, ‘I was high’ uttered by defendants or victims in court meant to explain why the gas station clerk was heinously shot during the commission of a robbery you admit to participating in, doesn’t cut it anymore. ‘I was high’ is no longer an excuse to why you can’t account for your whereabouts on the night in question for a crime to which you have pled not guilty, no longer explains away the vicious beating of your girlfriend. Bad trips, laymen’s terms for bad illegal drug reactions, have ceased to be an acceptable reason eliciting leniency from judges, jurors for extreme vandalism or otherwise seen as random attacks of persons on the streets, stopped being a blanket understood concept of ‘how can you expect me to be responsible for what I did,’ years ago. ‘I was drunk,’ long abandoned as a believable defense when causing death or injury to people with your car, motorcycle or boat, any kind of motor vehicle. And following historical lines in the modern era is fast becoming less of an excuse why it is ok to be judgmentally impaired enough to think raping someone is ok, then actually doing it. But equally for victims, it is unacceptable they can’t remember significant events surrounding the incident due to, not the drugs in their system, not the thing someone slipped into their drink, rather their alcohol consumption, again not liquor they were plied with by a predator, even coerced into drinking via peer pressure, ever popular drinking games everywhere you turn in college, instead willing alcohol ingestion, type of liquor (usually hard liquor) they indulged in. Nor is it wrong, seeing what’s clearly going on, to put out pamphlets talking about alcohol, even one titled ‘Female Bodies and Alcohol’ bullet pointing facts that weighing less, having less muscle mass than men and a different hormonal makeup, more hormonal fluctuations than men you metabolize alcohol differently may, and probably will, feel it’s effects sooner and more acutely, therefore need to drink accordingly. Neither is it overly condescending to begin a guide “We like to think men and women are equal in all things, right,” because they’ve been brought up all their lives to believe this, which socially is true and a message very much needed; however, that doesn’t apply to science, physiology, the basis for their information. Men and women are not equal when their bodies process alcohol…Gaging then campus response, appropriateness of that response is to likewise remember, even post Todd ‘legitimate rape’ Akin, how many high profile sex assault allegations, on campus rapes have been proven false, utterly made up. Going all the way back to the Duke lacrosse case to present day stories like Jackie’s, subject of the since retracted Rolling Stone article…And when it comes to athletes, high school, college and beyond they are natural targets due to their social status, wealth; Duke’s accused played lacrosse, Brock Turner was what, a swimming star, Steubenville assailants later convicted played what, football, the Massachusetts case receiving similar sentencing and attention involved a high school basketball star mirroring Derrick Rose, following in the dubious footsteps of Kobe Bryant off the court and found not liable in is on sex scandal case plays what, basketball. Now this could just as much be about athletes who think, because they are brilliant with a ball, gifted in a sport they are god and have narrowed their perception to seeing women as objects, or it could be some women are looking to be with an athlete, mad about rejection, seeking money. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle differentiated on a case by case basis. Prime example, convoluted story of Brian Banks, charged, tired and convicted as a promising 16 year old up and coming football star, sounds an awful lot like Steubenville doesn’t it; eventually cleared after 10 years, 5 in prison, 5 on parole, contact with the Innocence Project and an accuser recant, finally getting his dream football chance. Welcome to what victims, authorities and the, trying to discern it all, public are up against…. There are a thousand and one things wrong with how universities in general, Stanford specifically, handle sexual assault, handle under age, binge drinking, any issues cropping up involving mass student safety, learning and enrichment; this guide wasn’t one of them. Discouraging fellow members of the swim team, counterpart members of the women’s swim team from writing their own victim impact statements to the judge describing their own strange, creepy, uncomfortable encounters with Brock Turner, possibly speaking to sexually predatory behavior, evidence society may need to watch him long after this incident, proof he perhaps belongs on the sex offender registry rockets to the top of the list… UVA’s ‘don’t go to frat parities’ mandate stands out as the most condescending and offensive to women. Or officials blaming the campus newspaper for their decreased reporting in sexual assaults post their publishing stories of an associate professor’s sexual harassment and assault of students; University of Kentucky staff at The Kernel (the publications name) put forth it’s the exact opposite, more people are coming to Kernel staff because they distrust the university, awareness and reassurance it’s not their fault, they can speak up and receive support, justice helps too… But backing up a step, where are the fundamentals of personal safety, party safety, bar safety, concert safety we’ve tried to drill into our citizenry, focused on this age group, people who regularly frequent above venues? Let’s too dismiss the notion general party, personal safety rules, regardless of the guide’s wording, what it covered, is sexist; watching your drink, monitoring it being poured, not leaving it alone, applies to anyone looking at the increasing numbers of homosexual, bisexual, transgender, non-traditional encounters, situations showing that as the increasing norm… . To that end what were you doing, in the case of Brock Turner’s victim, unconscious behind a dumpster; not because you had been hit over the head, physically assaulted, robbed, not because you had something dropped into your drink, suddenly had a medical episode, heart attack, seizure, asthma attack, succumbed to meningitis you thought was the flu, are homeless and want a place un-harassed by the mean public to sleep, but because you had had too much to drink, have/had no awareness of alcohol’s effect on your unique body?… Massachusetts high school basketball player convicted of raping 2 girls and receiving only probation depicted 2 girls having gone to a bedroom to lie down, reading in between the lines, to sleep it off, and being penetrated with his finger as they slept. He denied touching one girl at all, apologized to the other as well as telling the court when she didn’t protest, he thought it was ok; victim precipitating his light sentence via her impact statement saying he didn’t want to ruin his life, didn’t think jail time was necessary, hints the light sentence everyone is blaming everything from bad judges, to ‘rape culture’ to ‘white privilege’ for. Except, rewind what were you doing sleeping in some strange house, post a house party, crawling off to a room surrounded by people you barely know, don’t know at all, drunk people you barely know, don’t know at all, likely without telling a soul where you were going to sleep thinking you would be safe?…Bringing us to St. Paul’s prep school and Owen Labrie, less about alcohol and more about non-existent safety instincts…You met a boy you were chatting online with, who went to your school true, on the roof of your school; online to real life meet up’s 101 meet in a public place, then later go on a date alone once you are around person X, sense if he is a threat or not, if he is who he says he is unlike the BYU student who met with and was then raped by a guy who lied about everything—age, marital status. Agreeing with the Salon link below, it has to be about women trusting their gut, young women developing that gut, those sets of protective instincts… lone felony related to using a computer to lure a minor, divulging the path to his lighter sentence. Vanderbilt’s headline making rape case, unquestioning these young men were despicable, especially confronted by accusations an ex-boyfriend orchestrated the whole thing, the 2 photo takers didn’t step up and ask what are you doing, hey stop this, sentence more fitting for the last one to be convicted, seeing the singular reason we know about this is surveillance footage. Yet we come around again to the redundant question of what were you doing so drunk you passed out to the point they could carry you around, drag you back to his room and not once did you wake up; remembering there are accusations the former boyfriend orchestrated and manipulated things, part of that manipulation however wasn’t drugging her drink…. common denominator alcohol, way past too much of it combined beside terrible instincts; underscoring the crystal clear, none of these excuse rape, should never excuse rape, but going back to dissecting the base article, certainly explains why there is such a guide, why Stanford is trying to limit alcohol and focusing on alcohol at all. It bolsters it was written exactly as it should have been, sexist, condescending or not, judging by behavior exhibited here…. It’s blatantly obvious we will do anything but talk to our kids about culturally relevant developments regarding drinking, particularly binge drinking, dangers of alcohol poisoning, party culture, sex, consent, even what constitutes a healthy relationship then we want to come down with the fury of god’s own thunder on young people, young boys/men repeatedly for things they didn’t do or say proliferated by social media in addition to legal charges they face…. First seeing widespread evidence of just that when the Steubenville saga began; Michael Nodianos’ sickening ranting video about an incident he wasn’t part of was attributed to both him as well as Ma’lik Richmond and Trent Mays, though they never said any such things. Likewise every mean tweet calling her a wh*re, death threats for daring to charge her attackers that came from others landed on their shoulders….amplified when Ma’lik Richmond got out and his lawyer said patently offensive things upon his release from juvenile detention talking about how hard things had been for him…Forgotten, that’s his lawyer and part of his lawyer’s job in a high profile case like his is to present his client in the best light while he Ma’lik Richmond kept his head down and his mouth closed, no hint of criminal activity ever again years later. Identically Bock Turner’s father makes a comment about his son’s sentence, sex offender status, lifetime ban from swimming exc. being a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action and all the sudden we see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, exactly where he got his views on women and sex, but he’s held accountable for his father’s words, he doesn’t control, the judge’s sentence he didn’t have anything to do with other than writing a statement, something every defendant in his position has the opportunity to do; no he’s not. He is solely responsible for what he did and the impact it had on his victim, society, more than enough to contend with… Because it’s not as if we’ve ever misconstrued a situation, more information through greater investigation trumped admittedly preliminary speculations on crime X committed by teen Y featured on the nightly news; wait that’s every modern case for 2 plus decades if it involves the latest heinous, depraved thing done by children/teens, drunk/high college students… On the other side a court just found Rolling Stone liable for the defamation of UVA’s college dean in reference to their story later retracted story “A Rape on Campus” and what happened to Jackie…. We will do anything but teach whether that’s sex education that includes conversations about healthy relationships, consent, too many conservatives afraid what students will actually learn about their own bodies… In direct opposition to alcohol education and how what you drink, what type/kind of liquor you consume affects your impairment level, we would prefer to stick to don’t drink your underage, don’t drink and drive you’ll die, because it’s simpler for us, doesn’t cover nuance or conflicting messages; never thinking to teach responsible drinking in preparation for when they are legally able to drink. In light of legalization in an increasing number of states marijuana education a-la what Colorado is doing, broadening it to a comprehensive explanation of the differences between all illicit drugs, their addictiveness, their danger to your body, impact of prescription drug abuse, instead of treating all illicit drugs equally, as the same kind of off the charts horrible, when teens find out that’s not true discarding every other thing you said. Oh no, absolutely not, on the contrary one California mother and police officer didn’t want her state to legalize pot because it will be more prevalent and challenging for kids to say no, though the legal age for recreational use will be identical to alcohol 21, most states have decriminalized 1-2 joint amounts, “there will be more people driving DUI, losing their lives”… Stanford bans alcohol in X quantity for select younger students, no one ever putting together k-12 education stops at 18, college students will turn 21 before graduating, maybe we ought to educate them on the differences in types of alcohol, gender differences and alcohol. Floating so much as the idea people getting sick, falling down, slurring their words is not responsible drinking; responsible drinking… returning again to the base article critique the author talks angrily and incredulously about, “What is frustrating in these ongoing campaigns, however, is the tone is almost always focused on what women can do to not get raped instead of how men can conduct themselves to not rape people.” As if it’s the simplest thing in the world, as if no decent person should ever have to be told this and it’s a sad commentary on society we do, when it’s so much more nuanced than that; here being where feminists and women’s rights activists earn parts on their bad name… 99% of the time we aren’t dealing with future sexual predators, budding serial, habitual rapists as much as drastically uninformed, misinformed young people; even Brock Turner whose behavior points to that possibility, it’s hard to know if he would never have done those things with a father who said more than his measly sentence was a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action. Ma’lik Richmond told the ABC interviewer what he thought rape was, jumping out of an alley and attacking a girl, forcing yourself on her in that context, saying he didn’t do that, elaborating later he didn’t rape anyone, see a rape going on and if he had seen one he would have stopped it. David Becker the Massachusetts high school student found guilty of rape sincerely told the judge he thought his victim’s lack of protest meant it was ok; if we want men, young men specifically to stop raping people, not to be rapists we have to give them an accurate definition, picture of what that is in all it’s facets, something we have yet to do, never mind effectively… We don’t have a rape culture in America we have a consent ambiguous culture whereby rape remains a crime on the books that is dutifully enforced, cases prosecuted and rapists put in jail every day; our problem is narrow social definitions of rape that haven’t caught up to real life scenarios, federal definitions and recent court cases…We operate on the ignorance is no excuse understanding to ensure ‘I didn’t know that’ doesn’t become a legal defense for any number of obviously illegal actions, stealing, killing, physical assault, rape where the person is fighting you, screaming, no, begging you to stop. But is it time to reexamine that in the shadow of Zach Anderson, what really happened in Steubenville, details surrounding David Becker producing that impact statement and persecutors went ahead with the rape, not a lesser degree charge, anyway, when adults are as unaware as their teens and teaching them wrongly, when education systems don’t, won’t teach these issues from a legal perspective believing it’s a family thing, the province and purview of parents to teach these values according to their moral compass, religion?… Surely we can and should do better by both women and men.
Tag Archives: 20/20
The Problem With “Female Bodies and Alcohol”: Stop Framing Campus Sexual Assault As A Drinking Issue—Agree To Disagree A Critique
“I tried To F*ck her…And When You’re a Star You Can Do Anything…Grab Them By The P**sy”—Our Problem Isn’t Donald Trump It’s Billy Bush’s Representation Of The Male Population’s Attitude
surrounding these new allegations they missed the other half of that conversation, the person laughing, smiling, cussing and disparaging women right along with him during the 2005 video kick starting our increased scrutiny into his womanizing, possibly sexually predatory lifestyle. The “normal” guy who is not a celebrity, who is not a billionaire, who seems to be enjoying their ‘locker room’ banter, ‘bad boy’ talk as much as the man himself, Billy Bush. Billy Bush who when Donald Trump describes making a move on his co-worker Nancy; Nancy being Nancy O’Dell, not singularly raunchy in his language saying he tried to f*ck her, he moved on her like a b*tch, but admitting to doing so while knowing full well she was married; doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t think, doesn’t utter any indications of shock, he just calls it huge news. Tellingly noted from the story all Ms. O’Dell wanted was information on good quality furniture, probably mentioned in casual conversation where he then offered to take her shopping because he thought her hot, she was then subjected to a proposition for sex, a relationship, and it doesn’t stick out to Mr. Bush as glaringly inappropriate, it doesn’t cause a gasp or a pause, instead the opposite, a laugh? From the normal person who enjoys about as much notoriety as local news anchors, remembering, though yes, Access Hollywood is an entertainment television show dishing on all the stars, it is still a place of work demanding professionalism….Jaw droppingly horrible is what happens when they get off Access Hollywood’s bus, where he plays a perverted wingman to Donald Trump and tries to cajole the pretty actress into hugging Trump then himself, also married 7 years at the time, merely to touch, to get close to a woman they think is hot. Trump elaborating to now obvious rolling cameras, Melania said this was ok; sure if it had amounted to a simple hug, graciously indulging a fan, exhibiting the kind of sociability celebrities often do, is expected of them, but again based on contexts of the previously held conversation, no one thinks so. Yes Billy Bush was forced to issue an apology upon the video’s airing during which he offered little excuse, unlike presidential nominee Donald Trump, other than he was younger then, calling his words stupid, facing suspension, followed by termination from his hosting job on Today, yet to understand how important the issue is for women, you have to equally understand how rare that is….Sadly when those alleged misbehaviors, accusations involve sex, well look how long it took people like Whoopi Goldberg to acknowledge Bill Cosby was probably guilty…Simultaneously reinforcing sentiments like whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, whatever happens in Hollywood happens in Hollywood, when you reach stardom you’re insulated from ‘little things’ like prosecution for sexual misconduct, sexual assault and rape are the stories coming out of the industry where women have been told by attorneys at law possessing a legal, ethical obligation they don’t have a case. Less on legal merits and more on their personal belief, or not, of the victim compared to who the accuser is… . How uncharacteristic it is to see a Roger Ailes be removed from his powerful position as it is for accusers to be silenced via money, intimidation, career demolishment, how long things at Fox remained Ailes’ personal locker room, exemplifying the worst of locker rooms according to one article; the outraging reality there may be more than a little truth to Billy Bush’s lawyer’s defense for his client he would face termination if he had stood up to Trump, seeing Roger Ailes’ Fox New before charges became public, independent investigators were brought in….it’s the ridiculous excuses used by Trump defenders largely members of the general public not political operatives, campaign surrogates to discredit an approaching double digit number of women coming forward and telling their stories, echoed and accepted by the larger deciding, voting public at minimum. Wildest one stating first class airplane seats didn’t have moveable armrests, retractable armrests in the 80’s…Likewise she’s ‘lying’ because she says he was like an octopus, it was like he had 6 arms or something, his hands were everywhere, but everybody knows octopus have 8 arms—case dismissed…Network legal analysts impressed with Summer Zervos’ attention to detail, imitating his voice, the way he spoke to her that night enhancing believability… When we literally have to ask are women people as opposed to sex objects, property, things, entities that exist solely for men’s sexual fantasies, sexual pleasure, sadly where we clearly are throughout some parts of society in America, in a place called the free world…It’s Nancy O’Dell, who despite her public figure job is a human being, wife and mother, having to take time during her current anchoring position at Entertainment Tonight to address what Trump said about her; humiliating conversations she had to have with her husband and children before they heard/saw that video on the news or internet, happening because she reported to work on that day, happily accepted an offer to look at furniture from Donald Trump who has built and furnished how many lavish, top of the line hotels. We have a therapist for Andrea Tantaros, once Fox News host, backing up her lawsuit claims about Ailes’ behavior; stopping momentarily to digest her boss, Roger Ailes’, actions, persistent, constant sexual harassment sent this woman into therapy, according to her suit she was demoted, finally fired because she would not sleep with said boss. Knowing this medical, psychological professional came forward on her own, no prompting from her patient, no pleadings to substantiate her accusations…Gretchen Carlson who filed the first publicly known lawsuit against Fox News, Ailes, predating Tantaros, and won just revealed to Saon.com her contract kept her at Fox; question being are we surprised taking stock of morals clauses and dictates employees in any job past minimum wage are subjected to, things employers think they hold rights to control, benign own time activities suddenly off limits. And while someone is putting together pieces to turn Ailes’ rise, subsequent fall into a mini-series, Carlson is testifying to congress, examining forced arbitration practices, about her contract, the forced arbitration she legally had to fight, that would have kept her harassment case out of court. Commenting to Time magazine she doesn’t think human resources departments are equipped to handle sex harassment, corporations training courses are making a difference despite millions spent…Natasha Stoynoff was just doing her job during what happened, Summer Zervos didn’t come to his hotel seeking him out for a tryst, a rendezvous but in hopes of working with Trump, learning from Trump the business man, excited to work for him, meeting held in a room at a hotel he owns less weird and red flag inducing because he owned it…. . Khloe Kardashian at least has additional options, choices; ordinary people, non-celebrities looking for their next venture, aren’t always so lucky. Countering Alex Jones who in part said “it’s not sexual assault if women are throwing themselves at you;” it very well could be when women are told to go up to him, fawn all over him after appearing randomly in their dressing room, if they are led to believe it increases their chances of winning or is even a prerequisite for staying in the pageant. Is very much so understanding at least some pull behind participating in Miss USA, Miss Teen USA and Miss Universe, the 3 branched pageant sphere Trump owned and ran for 2 decades is scholarships winners receive to the New York film academy, modeling portfolios, a chance to travel and talk about social issues as a goodwill ambassador. And these incidents don’t merely happen to people seeking employment in Hollywood, to get their faces on television anchoring national, local news, journalistic careers following celebrities if they can’t be one; echoing domestic violence they happen to ordinary citizens daily in the most unlikely of places. Roughly 5 years ago an exposé was done prompted by teens describing sex acts demanded by their managers at McDonald’s, Starbucks and Taco Bell; teens who thought they needed to give in to those demands to keep their job they depended on to live, help pay for school, help supporting their family, to get a good start in the employment world build a résumé. 1 in 3 working teens possessing standard beginner, fast food, minimum wage, retail jobs reported sexual advances via adult supervisors; McDonald’s fellow employees weren’t surprised stating “don’t take it personal that’s how he is with every girl.” Taco Bell’s errant, pervy manager impregnated one teen working all of 2 months and attacked another her first day. Some may remember the phone scam where mangers are called by a person impersonating police and told to do sex acts on teen female employees. Anyone tempted to think that was then, things have changed because of such cases, there’s the Brooklyn case, 6 months old, were a teen girl interviewing for a high profile law firm receptionist position was coerced into stripping and forced into having sex; getting the job, on her second day is told she needed an STD test to keep her employment position, never returning, instead filing a lawsuit. This is what it’s like being a teen and stepping into the world of work in 2010, 2016, not 1960; stories like theirs why the Trump family got such backlash for their approach to workplace sexual harassment, ideas women can suddenly pull up stakes from steady income jobs, they should be the ones forced to leave (not to put up with poor treatment, taking responsibility for how they handle it) when others are doing wrong…Horrifying how early it starts for young girls growing into women…dismissive, denying reactions, demeaning responses spawning several social media memes #NotOkay, a magazine writer’s tweet me your first assaults. Going first, telling her own stunning encounter story “old man on city bus grabs my p**sy and smiles at me, I’m 12.”…Kate Spencer…Making a list of: “all the times I’ve been touched, followed, hollered at, screamed at, threatened and chased by men, all the penises I’ve been shown without giving permission,” contemplating adding that list to her Salon article seeing another fellow woman recently do the same, finding it empowering plus depressing to read. Being pulled behind buildings, flashed, seeing a man jerk of while your kayaking with friends, sent harassing e-mails, phone calls, threats to come to her house by a student met at a young leaders conference only to have police “look at her like she was crazy;” how much is one woman supposed to endure, why is life in western civilization this kind of endurance test?… What Donald Trump, his supporters, his defenders and his shoulder shrugging apathetic voters don’t understand is, it isn’t just talk, talk like this leads inevitably to action, action being the rape, sexual assault, sexual battery of women leaving lasting scars on them and the country.
…let us likewise remember this young man completed the sentence before him, met the specific additional parameters for behavior and rehabilitation while in juvenile detention, which is part of why he is getting out when he is. The additional stipulations to sentencing suggest that, had he not met the behavioral expectations, he could have been held longer than the year given.
Schools are likewise to be places of learning, not just reading, writing, arithmetic, science, music, art, but tolerance, seeing things from a different perspective, gaining knowledge about people different from you… how is any different, any less important?
Justice or Just a Mob Mentality As Bad as The Bullying Kids Themselves? A Bullying in America Reality Check
As Ravi speaks out, new details emerge, similar to the Prince case; does it constitute a situation of bully faces justice or a case of teens’