We will do anything but teach alcohol education, consent education, legal definitions of rape… Also addressing changing public attitudes on key social issues like criminal responsibility while under the influence of substances, ‘I was high’ uttered by defendants or victims in court meant to explain why the gas station clerk was heinously shot during the commission of a robbery you admit to participating in, doesn’t cut it anymore. ‘I was high’ is no longer an excuse to why you can’t account for your whereabouts on the night in question for a crime to which you have pled not guilty, no longer explains away the vicious beating of your girlfriend. Bad trips, laymen’s terms for bad illegal drug reactions, have ceased to be an acceptable reason eliciting leniency from judges, jurors for extreme vandalism or otherwise seen as random attacks of persons on the streets, stopped being a blanket understood concept of ‘how can you expect me to be responsible for what I did,’ years ago. ‘I was drunk,’ long abandoned as a believable defense when causing death or injury to people with your car, motorcycle or boat, any kind of motor vehicle. And following historical lines in the modern era is fast becoming less of an excuse why it is ok to be judgmentally impaired enough to think raping someone is ok, then actually doing it. But equally for victims, it is unacceptable they can’t remember significant events surrounding the incident due to, not the drugs in their system, not the thing someone slipped into their drink, rather their alcohol consumption, again not liquor they were plied with by a predator, even coerced into drinking via peer pressure, ever popular drinking games everywhere you turn in college, instead willing alcohol ingestion, type of liquor (usually hard liquor) they indulged in. Nor is it wrong, seeing what’s clearly going on, to put out pamphlets talking about alcohol, even one titled ‘Female Bodies and Alcohol’ bullet pointing facts that weighing less, having less muscle mass than men and a different hormonal makeup, more hormonal fluctuations than men you metabolize alcohol differently may, and probably will, feel it’s effects sooner and more acutely, therefore need to drink accordingly. Neither is it overly condescending to begin a guide “We like to think men and women are equal in all things, right,” because they’ve been brought up all their lives to believe this, which socially is true and a message very much needed; however, that doesn’t apply to science, physiology, the basis for their information. Men and women are not equal when their bodies process alcohol…Gaging then campus response, appropriateness of that response is to likewise remember, even post Todd ‘legitimate rape’ Akin, how many high profile sex assault allegations, on campus rapes have been proven false, utterly made up. Going all the way back to the Duke lacrosse case to present day stories like Jackie’s, subject of the since retracted Rolling Stone article…And when it comes to athletes, high school, college and beyond they are natural targets due to their social status, wealth; Duke’s accused played lacrosse, Brock Turner was what, a swimming star, Steubenville assailants later convicted played what, football, the Massachusetts case receiving similar sentencing and attention involved a high school basketball star mirroring Derrick Rose, following in the dubious footsteps of Kobe Bryant off the court and found not liable in is on sex scandal case plays what, basketball. Now this could just as much be about athletes who think, because they are brilliant with a ball, gifted in a sport they are god and have narrowed their perception to seeing women as objects, or it could be some women are looking to be with an athlete, mad about rejection, seeking money. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle differentiated on a case by case basis. Prime example, convoluted story of Brian Banks, charged, tired and convicted as a promising 16 year old up and coming football star, sounds an awful lot like Steubenville doesn’t it; eventually cleared after 10 years, 5 in prison, 5 on parole, contact with the Innocence Project and an accuser recant, finally getting his dream football chance. Welcome to what victims, authorities and the, trying to discern it all, public are up against…. There are a thousand and one things wrong with how universities in general, Stanford specifically, handle sexual assault, handle under age, binge drinking, any issues cropping up involving mass student safety, learning and enrichment; this guide wasn’t one of them. Discouraging fellow members of the swim team, counterpart members of the women’s swim team from writing their own victim impact statements to the judge describing their own strange, creepy, uncomfortable encounters with Brock Turner, possibly speaking to sexually predatory behavior, evidence society may need to watch him long after this incident, proof he perhaps belongs on the sex offender registry rockets to the top of the list… UVA’s ‘don’t go to frat parities’ mandate stands out as the most condescending and offensive to women. Or officials blaming the campus newspaper for their decreased reporting in sexual assaults post their publishing stories of an associate professor’s sexual harassment and assault of students; University of Kentucky staff at The Kernel (the publications name) put forth it’s the exact opposite, more people are coming to Kernel staff because they distrust the university, awareness and reassurance it’s not their fault, they can speak up and receive support, justice helps too… But backing up a step, where are the fundamentals of personal safety, party safety, bar safety, concert safety we’ve tried to drill into our citizenry, focused on this age group, people who regularly frequent above venues? Let’s too dismiss the notion general party, personal safety rules, regardless of the guide’s wording, what it covered, is sexist; watching your drink, monitoring it being poured, not leaving it alone, applies to anyone looking at the increasing numbers of homosexual, bisexual, transgender, non-traditional encounters, situations showing that as the increasing norm… . To that end what were you doing, in the case of Brock Turner’s victim, unconscious behind a dumpster; not because you had been hit over the head, physically assaulted, robbed, not because you had something dropped into your drink, suddenly had a medical episode, heart attack, seizure, asthma attack, succumbed to meningitis you thought was the flu, are homeless and want a place un-harassed by the mean public to sleep, but because you had had too much to drink, have/had no awareness of alcohol’s effect on your unique body?… Massachusetts high school basketball player convicted of raping 2 girls and receiving only probation depicted 2 girls having gone to a bedroom to lie down, reading in between the lines, to sleep it off, and being penetrated with his finger as they slept. He denied touching one girl at all, apologized to the other as well as telling the court when she didn’t protest, he thought it was ok; victim precipitating his light sentence via her impact statement saying he didn’t want to ruin his life, didn’t think jail time was necessary, hints the light sentence everyone is blaming everything from bad judges, to ‘rape culture’ to ‘white privilege’ for. Except, rewind what were you doing sleeping in some strange house, post a house party, crawling off to a room surrounded by people you barely know, don’t know at all, drunk people you barely know, don’t know at all, likely without telling a soul where you were going to sleep thinking you would be safe?…Bringing us to St. Paul’s prep school and Owen Labrie, less about alcohol and more about non-existent safety instincts…You met a boy you were chatting online with, who went to your school true, on the roof of your school; online to real life meet up’s 101 meet in a public place, then later go on a date alone once you are around person X, sense if he is a threat or not, if he is who he says he is unlike the BYU student who met with and was then raped by a guy who lied about everything—age, marital status. Agreeing with the Salon link below, it has to be about women trusting their gut, young women developing that gut, those sets of protective instincts… lone felony related to using a computer to lure a minor, divulging the path to his lighter sentence. Vanderbilt’s headline making rape case, unquestioning these young men were despicable, especially confronted by accusations an ex-boyfriend orchestrated the whole thing, the 2 photo takers didn’t step up and ask what are you doing, hey stop this, sentence more fitting for the last one to be convicted, seeing the singular reason we know about this is surveillance footage. Yet we come around again to the redundant question of what were you doing so drunk you passed out to the point they could carry you around, drag you back to his room and not once did you wake up; remembering there are accusations the former boyfriend orchestrated and manipulated things, part of that manipulation however wasn’t drugging her drink…. common denominator alcohol, way past too much of it combined beside terrible instincts; underscoring the crystal clear, none of these excuse rape, should never excuse rape, but going back to dissecting the base article, certainly explains why there is such a guide, why Stanford is trying to limit alcohol and focusing on alcohol at all. It bolsters it was written exactly as it should have been, sexist, condescending or not, judging by behavior exhibited here…. It’s blatantly obvious we will do anything but talk to our kids about culturally relevant developments regarding drinking, particularly binge drinking, dangers of alcohol poisoning, party culture, sex, consent, even what constitutes a healthy relationship then we want to come down with the fury of god’s own thunder on young people, young boys/men repeatedly for things they didn’t do or say proliferated by social media in addition to legal charges they face…. First seeing widespread evidence of just that when the Steubenville saga began; Michael Nodianos’ sickening ranting video about an incident he wasn’t part of was attributed to both him as well as Ma’lik Richmond and Trent Mays, though they never said any such things. Likewise every mean tweet calling her a wh*re, death threats for daring to charge her attackers that came from others landed on their shoulders….amplified when Ma’lik Richmond got out and his lawyer said patently offensive things upon his release from juvenile detention talking about how hard things had been for him…Forgotten, that’s his lawyer and part of his lawyer’s job in a high profile case like his is to present his client in the best light while he Ma’lik Richmond kept his head down and his mouth closed, no hint of criminal activity ever again years later. Identically Bock Turner’s father makes a comment about his son’s sentence, sex offender status, lifetime ban from swimming exc. being a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action and all the sudden we see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, exactly where he got his views on women and sex, but he’s held accountable for his father’s words, he doesn’t control, the judge’s sentence he didn’t have anything to do with other than writing a statement, something every defendant in his position has the opportunity to do; no he’s not. He is solely responsible for what he did and the impact it had on his victim, society, more than enough to contend with… Because it’s not as if we’ve ever misconstrued a situation, more information through greater investigation trumped admittedly preliminary speculations on crime X committed by teen Y featured on the nightly news; wait that’s every modern case for 2 plus decades if it involves the latest heinous, depraved thing done by children/teens, drunk/high college students… On the other side a court just found Rolling Stone liable for the defamation of UVA’s college dean in reference to their story later retracted story “A Rape on Campus” and what happened to Jackie…. We will do anything but teach whether that’s sex education that includes conversations about healthy relationships, consent, too many conservatives afraid what students will actually learn about their own bodies… In direct opposition to alcohol education and how what you drink, what type/kind of liquor you consume affects your impairment level, we would prefer to stick to don’t drink your underage, don’t drink and drive you’ll die, because it’s simpler for us, doesn’t cover nuance or conflicting messages; never thinking to teach responsible drinking in preparation for when they are legally able to drink. In light of legalization in an increasing number of states marijuana education a-la what Colorado is doing, broadening it to a comprehensive explanation of the differences between all illicit drugs, their addictiveness, their danger to your body, impact of prescription drug abuse, instead of treating all illicit drugs equally, as the same kind of off the charts horrible, when teens find out that’s not true discarding every other thing you said. Oh no, absolutely not, on the contrary one California mother and police officer didn’t want her state to legalize pot because it will be more prevalent and challenging for kids to say no, though the legal age for recreational use will be identical to alcohol 21, most states have decriminalized 1-2 joint amounts, “there will be more people driving DUI, losing their lives”… Stanford bans alcohol in X quantity for select younger students, no one ever putting together k-12 education stops at 18, college students will turn 21 before graduating, maybe we ought to educate them on the differences in types of alcohol, gender differences and alcohol. Floating so much as the idea people getting sick, falling down, slurring their words is not responsible drinking; responsible drinking… returning again to the base article critique the author talks angrily and incredulously about, “What is frustrating in these ongoing campaigns, however, is the tone is almost always focused on what women can do to not get raped instead of how men can conduct themselves to not rape people.” As if it’s the simplest thing in the world, as if no decent person should ever have to be told this and it’s a sad commentary on society we do, when it’s so much more nuanced than that; here being where feminists and women’s rights activists earn parts on their bad name… 99% of the time we aren’t dealing with future sexual predators, budding serial, habitual rapists as much as drastically uninformed, misinformed young people; even Brock Turner whose behavior points to that possibility, it’s hard to know if he would never have done those things with a father who said more than his measly sentence was a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action. Ma’lik Richmond told the ABC interviewer what he thought rape was, jumping out of an alley and attacking a girl, forcing yourself on her in that context, saying he didn’t do that, elaborating later he didn’t rape anyone, see a rape going on and if he had seen one he would have stopped it. David Becker the Massachusetts high school student found guilty of rape sincerely told the judge he thought his victim’s lack of protest meant it was ok; if we want men, young men specifically to stop raping people, not to be rapists we have to give them an accurate definition, picture of what that is in all it’s facets, something we have yet to do, never mind effectively… We don’t have a rape culture in America we have a consent ambiguous culture whereby rape remains a crime on the books that is dutifully enforced, cases prosecuted and rapists put in jail every day; our problem is narrow social definitions of rape that haven’t caught up to real life scenarios, federal definitions and recent court cases…We operate on the ignorance is no excuse understanding to ensure ‘I didn’t know that’ doesn’t become a legal defense for any number of obviously illegal actions, stealing, killing, physical assault, rape where the person is fighting you, screaming, no, begging you to stop. But is it time to reexamine that in the shadow of Zach Anderson, what really happened in Steubenville, details surrounding David Becker producing that impact statement and persecutors went ahead with the rape, not a lesser degree charge, anyway, when adults are as unaware as their teens and teaching them wrongly, when education systems don’t, won’t teach these issues from a legal perspective believing it’s a family thing, the province and purview of parents to teach these values according to their moral compass, religion?… Surely we can and should do better by both women and men.
Tag Archives: Stanford Bans Hard Liquor at University Parties
The Problem With “Female Bodies and Alcohol”: Stop Framing Campus Sexual Assault As A Drinking Issue—Agree To Disagree A Critique
Back To School Means Back To Shenanigans The Political Correctness Clint Eastwood Should Have Been Worried About
Instead it’s the standard go to these days clothes, school dress codes and general polices on everything under the sun putting small area, key city schools on our national radar, garnering national attention for becoming more fascist and Nazi-like every year to some; to older, more traditional minds rolling their eyes bemoaning they had to add yet one more item to a banned clothing list, school administrators had to hammer out yet another policy on issue X because parents can’t employ common sense, if it’s not written down as a firm no, parents think anything goes. School in all facets fast becoming a topic tradition of mine, every graduation season inspires vivid commentary on anything but inspirational speeches to combat further coddling, cloistering of young people about to be smacked by the real world where you don’t get a trophy for everything, you don’t get points for just showing up. Alongside graduation nightmares spawned from clothing that shouldn’t be objectionable suddenly being put on a no, no list, parents showing up in the exact same attire as clever, justifiable revenge; dress code parameters for select, specific occasions that might as well have been written by their parent’s grandmothers mentioning sausage rolls to describe body fat, telling young women to keep the girls covered and you can’t put 10 pounds of mud in a 5 pound sack purportedly trying to speak their language to convey what is appropriate and what’s not. All because they feared stage placement would have people looking up girls’ short skirts, but the self-described ‘impressionable’ girl (18 and now an adult) speaking up is over sensitive and completely unprepared for real life; while her school, who should be leading by example, shows no class and gets away with it. Eagle feathers and other cultural, religious symbols banned from graduation tassels, gowns of individual students, one school barring their valedictorian from speaking due to his goatee facial hair; ironic we want boys to grow up to be men, men to act like men and emasculate them at the same time. Graduation ceremonies marred by racial slurs, overtones, one school outing their valedictorian to his father when he dared include that in the last seconds of his speech he was then banned from giving because it mentions him being gay. Speaking of parents, coveted parent involvement, a school superintendent who threated to have arrested excited parents cheering their child walking across that stage; desired charge: disturbing the peace. Others locked out of an overfilled auditorium due to ticket mix-ups; a 5th grader in a wheelchair forgotten at her elementary school graduation, no handicap accessibility provided, even leaving her name off the list of graduates. Likewise I have joined a chorus of fed up Americans, parents and non-parents equally, tired of schools shaming girls for simply buying their clothes off available racks at Target, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, JC Penny in appropriate size and age groupings, leaving it to parents to draft petitions about where is the fabric in girls’ clothing, clearly showing how much there is to boy’s clothes. Never adding their voices to said petitions just chastising parents for letting their child wear ‘booty’ shorts, more proper name daisy dukes, a bikini top to school (oh the horror in no air conditioning schools where you go outside to adjacent buildings for art, music confronted with hot, humid air)… news watchers remember the Utah school who edited yearbook photos without student/parent consent or notification based on moral compunctions of perv-y, white, religious minded men, blue haired old ladies and clique ridden year book staff despite a parent who took 2 students to orientation/registration and didn’t see any supposed sign announcing no sleeveless tops, visible bra straps, school reserved right to edit inappropriate pictures. Utterly stupid in summer where sun dresses, sleeveless shirts are worn for comfort in hot weather and bra straps, by the laws of physics, can be seen wearing a standard t-shirt, never mind U-neck popular women’s shirt styles (see screen shots) you can’t escape buying today. Reinforcing ideas, boys soon to be men, aren’t to control themselves, women are to cover up; girls, women are sex objects even in middle and high school, don’t want sex, propositions for sex, flirting, comment, cover up… So it’s no surprise dress codes made news again this year at the start of classes or that, as Yahoo’s article below states, dress codes right out of the 1950’s are popular with administrators and terms they use to define appropriate and inappropriate; latest round’s racial targeting found in banned hairstyles, items and ‘fashion trends’ lost on all of no one. Out, corn rolls (again you know persons writing this are out of touch when they don’t know it’s corn ROWS) twists, dreads, Mohawks, fro-hawks, ‘afros’ must be no longer than 2 inches, no jewelry to be worn in your hair, prompting one mother to call out their blatant racism, banning things unequivocally worn by mostly black students, eventually resulting in a slight change of policy eliminating statutes on aforementioned styles. Nor is it close to the first time said policies have come down on racial, ethnic minorities or become absolutely unenforceable….And then there’s the second Yahoo link complete with blow up screen shot below depicting posters informing Illinois middle school students of their dress code; Yahoo author commenting on their 1950’s language and attitudes. Lady-like and school appropriate on 2 headless women wearing nearly the same thing but the ‘revealing’ ‘distracting’ ‘dress code violation’ one was deemed so apparently because said girl chose to wear a see-through shirt over a thicker solid color one revealing nothing, or was it that her shirt wasn’t oversized enough to cover formfitting, ‘revealing’ parts of her leggings; you can’t tell truthfully. Beth Greenfield far from alone in her assessment decrying this throwback flyer and dress code, “Wow, Freeburg’s been invaded by Maoists,” noted one…while another posted the image of a flyer which read, in part, “I am a 15-year-old girl. If you are sexualizing me, YOU are the problem.” 15-year-old spot on, both Greenfield and cited psychologist questioning why; “all the women are drawn “with cleavage,” and “voluptuous,” when the flyer is meant to target middle-schoolers. “Even the way they depict women’s bodies is sexist.” Others penning sarcasm to make their point; “Who in their right mind would aspire to have schools as they were in the 1950’s? When the quality of education/teachers were better….students were held strictly accountable for their behavior……parents cared about how their children performed academically and behaviorally……….and reading, writing, and arithmetic took priority over social indoctrination, and political correctness…..classroom size didn’t matter, and teachers knew how to control their classes.” None of which has anything to do with the topic, over the top dress codes, and what is more 1950’s than parts left in the natural hair issue school’s dress code stipulating no 2 toned hair, males may not dye their hair and it must be no longer than their collar, bangs no lower than top of eyebrows. Butler school in Kentucky, check the calendar it’s 2016…. what we really want to know is where was Clint Eastwood talking about this, talking about educating a child’s mind is more important than what is or isn’t on their body?… where was he calling out old fuddy-duddies about dress codes in public schools; where was he calling out the ridiculousness of polo shirts and leggings on a sweet middle school girl getting them thrown out of class?… Dress codes should be: are they wearing clothes, then they can come to class; students looking to protest should merely come to school in their underwear, socks, shoes, bras for girls alerting these tightwads nationwide their attire will change when dress codes are amended to the above sentence period…. Pledge of allegiance back in the news this year too for variations on redundant, reoccurring ‘reasons’… Pulling us up to current fracas around our pledge, predictable Fox News showcasing a letter from one school sent home with students allowing them to opt out of the pledge and one corresponding parent’s asinine response, ‘this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read and I’m so ashamed of this;’ panel going on to detail proclaimed ridiculousness of an opt out form despite their own references to a 1943 ruling by the United States Supreme Court saying firstly, the fixed star in our constitutional constellation was you could not force people to confess their faith in orthodoxy, policy, nationalism exc. Translation they possess 1- constitutional, confirmed by Supreme Court, choice to not stand, not recite the pledge, no official, independent rank, high, low can compel them to; further, there must be written notification of the opt out option finally signed by parent or guardian. So represented Florida school, recognizing turmoil about the pledge, probably at stated request of a parent, whole groups of them, followed Supreme Court guidelines in offering an alternative…. No panel members understanding how serious an issue it has become for students, less centered on bullying by their peers manifesting in prolonged, lasting injury and more dangerous bullying by adult, school authority they have little recourse to fight back against. When a teacher can demand you stand during the pledge or be suspended for 2 days, receive 2 more days suspension for every day you don’t stand, chiefly because you defied what she believed to be her authority, weren’t falling in line with whole class, whole school group-think, oblivious to how her actions looked compared to dictator countries Saudi Arabia and North Korea quoting the Secular Talk radio host describing what happened to a high school young man in Texas. When a school nurse can say to an 8th grade student you refused to stand during the pledge of allegiance, I refuse to service you; girl in tears, denied first aide, medication access, whatever she came to school nursing staff for, proceedingly barred from calling her parents before receiving a stern lecture. Which is not only a violation of the conditions of her employment failing to do her job, it constitutes a violation of medical ethics stating you treat the patient in front of you, going against probable portions of the Hippocratic oath. Saga exacerbated and elongated when a guidance counselor stepped in, they no better informed about basic constitutionality saying she didn’t have to say the pledge but should stand in the hallway until its completion. David Packman show clarifying she certainly does not have to/need to stand outside; delving deeper into that 1943 case and its ruling, not only can students not be compelled to say and stand during the pledge, there cannot be repercussions visited upon students who don’t, putting both school officials in the extreme wrong… Identical principles hold true about how we discuss certain issues, how we frame certain conversations by the words we use, actively don’t use, enact change to positively alter society’s use of words counter to social order, function, equality; why we stopped using the N word, negro, adopted native American over Indian. Call someone gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender respectively as opposed to queer, fag, homo, transvestite, cross dresser, butch, carpet muncher, promote majoritively accurate sex education and proper names for body parts; encompassing reproductive organs, sexual activities. Why president Obama sought to remove the word retarded replaced with developmentally delayed from government documents; our evolving vernacular depicting what is socially acceptable to talk about, to say, how you say unpleasant, uncomfortable things, better address sensitive issues as much a part of the American fabric, American tradition as apple pie, baseball. Somewhat perplexing then why Fox News, surprise, surprise seems profoundly bewildered by that evolution reflected in a university’s notice to faculty advising them not to use words like crazy, psycho as it is offensive to people dealing with mental health issues, warnings not to out someone’s transgender identity, abstain from asking said persons about their ‘real name’ or surgical status and support students stated gender identities letting them know they should choose bathrooms corresponding with that identity…Largely gender identity related discussed parameters highlighted by both New Mexico university and Fox News streamed lined with the Supreme Court’s legalizing same sex marriage, countering exposed homophobia behind bathroom bills exploding this summer, that it was an end run around select North Carolina municipalities adding sexual orientation and gender identity to anti- discrimination statutes. Other states following their horrible bathroom bill example, Texas GOP members apoplectic calling it the end of public education when president Obama stepped in saying there will be federal guidelines allowing gender identity bathroom use to students in a place they are mandated to go 5 days a week to receive an education. Their lieutenant governor who can’t handle a tolerant, common sense set of “Transgender Student Guidelines,” fostering a “respectful and trusting” transgender student policy. Except to them, upholders of bathroom freak outs, Fox News, constant disparagers of this generation, our young people it’s representative of the extended coddling college culture of safe spaces, trigger warnings and political correctness gone wild; however, their mocking tone, laughing and segment title to mind your political P&Q’s indicates exactly why such parameters are needed. Forgotten, experts said the same things regarding mental illness in the final Sandy Hook report after Adam Lanza killed 26, most children, openly speaking about stigma surrounding these illnesses, opposed to cancer patients, diabetes sufferers, often preventing people from treatment, medication, causing people to fear both. Society’s use of words like psycho, crazy, cray, cray for persons who may be mentally ill; worse our too casual use of those same words not to indicate medical, mental health diagnoses merely describing those odd, unusual, unique or different, perception mental illness is as contagious as a cold, the flu, when it’s inherently not. Except, beyond safe space, trigger warning, free speech zones that are anything but, being transgender is about waking up one day and deciding your transgender, i.e. female instead of male, so you can use the woman’s bathroom and harass them, hit them up for sex, see partially naked women. Narrowly considered, were their theory correct, transgender males, biologically female could do the same harassing, making feel uncomfortable males hit on, propositioned for sex in Men’s rooms America wide; neither happening to date, if ever. Not about spending a lifetime feeling like you’re in the wrong body, enviously looking at girls wearing dresses, long hair, pretty outfits, feeling in your head, your heart that should be you too, feeling male, wanting to stand up using the bathroom confused as to why you have to sit, why your anatomy doesn’t match your mental image of yourself, terrified about gaining breasts, having a period. Instinctually knowing you don’t have a safe place to go to the bathroom because facilities matching your anatomy feel wrong, yet you’re nervous about those of your gender identity finding out you’re not like they are, harassment you’ve probably been subjected to trying to use either restroom….but telling New Mexico university students gender identity bathroom use is supported on campus is out of line, unnecessary, too much political correctness…. Just like an Arkansas Catholic school for boys, who teaches the importance of ‘soft failures’ posting a sign on their office door as follows: “If you are dropping off your son’s forgotten lunch, books, homework, equipment, etc., please TURN AROUND and exit the building,” the sign reads. “Your son will learn to problem-solve in your absence,” assumes student’s implied poor problem solving is directly resulting from helicopter parenting, helicopter parenting is the sole and singular reason parents bring items to their kids at school; during this day and age going viral. Ignoring, what, are you going to have school security escort out parents deciding it’s their child and they make the decisions not you, resort to calling police to gain compliance from parents with your new policy, how fast you won’t have a school if you go that route; you’ve forgotten parents who bring their child’s hockey, lacrosse, baseball gear to them after school for practice less because of their irresponsibility and more because you know if you do, it will remain in your child’s possession the entire time, less likely to be stolen, expensive equipment won’t be damaged, mandate replacement jostled repeatedly on the school bus (think hockey sticks). It’s what we say about driving all the time, it’s not you, you have to worry about but everyone else on the road; it’s not your kid you don’t trust, just everyone else maybe not raised with the same values you raised your son, especially if you’ve had problems with theft before, broken sports gear before. Their supposed to be cleverly worded sign assumes the child forgot, not you arranged to bring their science volcano, solar system model, history diorama to school so it wouldn’t be damaged on the school bus either; because after taking your hard earned money to buy the supplies, the multiple tries and several kitchen disasters to get the volcano to work properly, you’ll be damned if it gets destroyed before your child gets their hard earned grade… Obviously remarking on an era of ‘bad’ parenting, so called helicopter parents who want to swoop in and fix everything, never let their child fall or fail, protect them from everything brushes off other characteristic ‘bad’ parents, the flake who forgets everything themselves, assumes there’s that word again and what is it they say about making an ass of themselves, the parent showed up to correct, remedy their child’s mistake not their own…. Surely they have poorer students, families even attending probable tuition based catholic schools, parent working multiple jobs, where they told you they needed index cards for their research paper, would be given points for bringing, showing their teacher the index cards and you only had a chance to buy them, get them on your lunch break, just got paid and told your child you would drop them off before X hour class when required. And it’s not a soft failure for a child to flunk a class, the entire grade for the love of a paper left in their room I can bring them, left precisely because of it being such a huge portion of their grade, anxiety about how much is riding on that one thing, their little brother got ahold of their backpack not because it was left somewhere haphazardly but because they had to watch them while I worked late and do their homework at the same time, their sibling is 2 and doesn’t know any better; it too conveniently precludes identifying/helping students, families experiencing problems, needing help or needing you just to leave them alone, stop lumping them in with today’s cultural stereotypes. Backpack with important project left at grandmas because she’s ill, needs care, doesn’t qualify for a nursing home, we don’t want to put her in a nursing home, stumbling out of there at midnight when we got her to bed, us exhausted; Catholic school being an extension of the Catholic Church committed to representing god, helping others exc. that matters more. Precludes help reaching a child with noted memory issues, who may need to be seen by a neurologist, learning specialist even late diagnosed in high school, high school sometimes in smaller, parochial schools, select areas encompassing what would be middle school grades elsewhere; how well did that hard line work with famed Harry Potter character Neville Longbottom, hint it didn’t. Except similar to the discarded dunce caps, we know better than a fictional wizard school stuck in the 1960’s; at least we’re supposed to, capable of acting like it…. Stanford‘s ban on hard liquor follows typical collage policy mixed messages saying publicly they want more responsible adult students acting their ages as opposed to closer to their shoe sizes while simultaneously assuming the same fragility on both sides alleged discussing the New Mexico university parameters on offensive statements, smacking of mounting hypocrisy they want to change campus party culture, limit risky behavior, preludes to binge drinking by refusing to allow hard liquor, refusing to deal with something; knowing roughly 5 years ago college policies managing drunk students was to call their parents to deal with it… it’s better to ban hard alcohol. It’s better to ban hard liquors than it is to institute alcohol education realizing k-12 school ended at 18, drinking age is 21 and they’ll reach that on your campus, teach the difference between beer and Smirnoff Vodka…It’s better to ban hard alcohol than to teach student party goers of both genders, remembering rape isn’t limited to females, heterosexual encounters, party safety lest you be either victim or accused; beyond things like minding your drink for drugs persons might have slipped into it, not succumbing to pressures to drink more than your comfortable with, knowing your own personal alcohol limits, how alcohol affects you. Putting forth drinking till you pass out isn’t normal, acceptable, an ok part of party going, don’t drink until you pass out because it makes you more vulnerable to becoming a victim, makes you unable to remember the next morning what you did the night before, rendering you less able to recount what happened if you are a victim, participate in your own defense if you are the accused…Yet it’s better to ban hard liquor, wrongly presuming college kids don’t get drunk on beer, wine and wine coolers, mixed drinks made from wine or beer and soda, orange juice, playing drinking games, aforementioned beer pong, than it is to have and open honest conversations about what consent actually looks like, its legal definitions rather than the social gray areas these students, all of America have grown up with… Closely connected, having an open honest conversation about what rape really looks like that it’s more than jumping out of an alley and attacking a girl to quote later convicted Steubenville rapist Ma’lik Richmond, who followed up saying I didn’t do that….