No America she was arrested and charged when ‘do something’ parenting/discipline meant savagely beating her children with a video cord and taking the law into her own hands.
You can hear the skeptics now scoffing it makes news when people step up, be parents and discipline their kids, after all it’s so rare these days; you hear them hand in hand with the cries of outrage a mother was made out to be the bad guy, actually arrested, according to some reports lost her job, children removed from her custody for ‘doing something,’ taking action to make sure her children didn’t continue morally wrong, criminal behavior. Once again it has become a zero sum argument, an utterly black and white issue of either or; either we allow parents to discipline using violence, AKA spanking, sanitized terminology for hitting, or we end up with jails and prisons filled to the rafters with those who never learned discipline or respect instead the product of times outs, talking about feelings and taking their cookies away. Rapists, murderers, drug addicts, teens who beat up and kill homeless persons, developmentally delayed persons, steal from, accost and kill old ladies. We as parents use violence to discipline, the more brutal, sadistic, humiliating the better or face the ‘inevitable’ fact of jail time, visits to the penitentiary or they continue doing what they’re doing, committing burglary, until they are shot by a home owner defending their property; the age old, ever present stance anything is preferable. Alongside the highlighted irony, hypocrisy of ‘whites’ protesting child abuse on ‘black’ children perfectly willing to champion, support police who later shoot the same black boys, are forced into having to shoot them because parents weren’t allowed to be tough enough. Inconceivable both perceptions could be wrong that there is something, there are degrees between time out, withholding snacks and savagely striking a kid with a cord, methods between aggressive, angry corporal punishment and absolute anarchy that actually teach right from wrong, focus on why doing X is wrong or bad. And that nobody should be indiscriminately going around gunning down troubled teens in the streets during the commission of petty crime, routinely no crime at all; particularly zeroed in on black and brown teens alone putting police’s blatant racism and bias on full display for the world to see. Speaking of tough, growing social movements to stop spanking, seeing people charged for their brutal attempts at supposed discipline, to removing it from daycare settings, finally eradicate horrendous, creepy cases in the pockets across the country still allowing spanking in school are seen as the feminization of America, the infantilization of America. Calling people who want to end the arcane, near medieval practice, especially the way it’s used in individual household’s, instances reported out of certain schools pansies, wimps, wusses; accused of wanting the state to become parents, at best being non-parents with newfangled psychological degrees and no practical understanding of what it is to be a parent. Ted Cruz’s presidential campaign went out with a bang when he sinisterly said the same thing of a young heckler at his rally to riotous cheers and thunderous applause. Though the pre-teen was already being lead out by security and had done nothing apart from exercise his freedom of speech, far less insulting than Donald Trump, he still deserved a spanking in the candidates eye for attempting to tell the truth to power. Critics remarking when he couldn’t sell conservative ideas, ideology even to a small child, he pulled rank, demanding respect on the basis not of correctness, having earned it, but on age and might makes right, audience members wholeheartedly agreeing. Baltimore mom Toya Graham, world knowing her name, earning her a spot on the morning shows because of her very public spectacle pulling her son away from riots there, yanking off his mask and slapping him around while cameras rolled; incidentally before he had ever had a rock in his hand, taunted police, indicated he wanted to do anything other than peacefully protest what happened to Freddie Gray, show solidarity with people disturbed by what happened to him and why. And here once again a parent is being praised, even bonded out of jail by strangers for engaging in violence in order to raise her children, keep them out of jail, prevent creation of another thug, gangbanger, hood rat; never considered the same number of rapists murders, thieves, old lady abuses, homeless accosters, developmentally delayed tormenters occupying jails who were spanked, merely spanked not abused according to the anecdotal accounts of the ‘old days.’ Not to mention those same prison/jail cell occupants who had parents whose idea of spanking crossed the line to abuse and was never discovered because we are so keen to allow it. The Baton Rouge mom telling police openly she spanked 2 of her children with an RCA cord and 1 with a belt after a neighbor informed her the 3 had robbed her house, her witnessing them cart belongings from her home. Police report detailing the eldest son “had lacerations to both his arms and linear marks on his leg, shoulder, back and stomach…” The 12-year-old had “lacerations to his left arm that did break his skin,” and the 10-year-old had “a small scratch on his hand.” Comment summing up brilliantly why this woman was formally charged by police for alleged discipline, “Louisiana mom could face felony charges after punishing sons for robbery” What idiot wrote that headline??? She’s not facing felony charges for punishing her sons-she’s facing felony charges for CHILD ABUSE. Her ‘punishment’ consisted of whipping them until they bled. That’s blatant child abuse. This is not about the punishment, it’s about her taking the punishment way, way across the line into physical abuse. So let’s get the damn headline aligned with the facts here, and not write headlines like they’re click-bait stories.” [Sic] Regardless of if this was seen as a click-bait story, qualifies as one or not, remember Schaquana Spears was not hauled off to jail because she dared spank her child and that has now been deemed illegal as well as socially unacceptable, independent of how many would like that to be the current standing, her case one of many examples showing why. Schaquana Spears was arrested and booked into jail when what she termed discipline, based on her own admissions and the children’s believable, evidence supported account met the probable cause, preliminary requirements for a brutality to minors charge under Louisiana law. She’s going to jail under reasonable suspicion she broke that law to face trial at a later date; pending is whether or not the district attorney will see fit to bother filing charges based on his cursory assessment of the situation accompanying the YouTube video saying in part, “Parents have the right and obligation to discipline and teach their children,” [Hillar] Moore said. “We often time see children who have no parental authority or discipline which eventually results in delinquency and criminal acts. We need more parents who discipline their children. Surely you would expect a parent to discipline a child who is burglarizing other people’s homes as this could be a deadly encounter for the child,” clearly buying into the spankers make a better society and the only criminal is a non-spanked child tropes; cyclical social, societal debate going ever on.
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Yes she was supposed to do something, yes it was her responsibility as their mother to take action, engage in steps to remedy her children’s behavior, prevent it from happening again; neither did anyone say her children didn’t deserve discipline, punishment, commiserate, appropriate consequences congruent with the severity of what they did. Also no one is suggesting downplaying that severity, sweeping it under the carpet, pretending it didn’t happen, ignoring it occurring is the way to solve the problem. But discipline, common sense boundaries of parental authority doesn’t equal hitting, whopping, spanking, the right to hit whoop or spank; punishment doesn’t equal brutality, physical marks left on the body who knows how many days after the burglary incident, after the punishment should have been over even according to pro-spankers who primarily want children, teens to remember the pain associated with spanking the next time they are tempted to do something wrong. Yes she was supposed to ‘do something,’ too little emphasis placed on what that something should look like, doing the right something. Too little emphasis placed on alternatives that are not only non-violent but carry no threat of arrest, any alternatives that reach the same goal. Starting with an apology to the woman they robbed, handing over the things they took, put to work doing restitution chores for the woman under the eagle eyes of her and their mother accompanied by immediate loss of privileges at home no TV, video games, going anywhere except school. Considering the severity of their offence, the value of the property they took, take them home strip down their rooms of everything except bedding, 2 seasonal appropriate changes of clothes, 2-4 pairs socks/underwear, weather appropriate shoes; they have to earn back their belongings one at a time with good behavior and other parameters met over time. While I’ve previously spoken out against this method for a 7 year old throwing tantrums, a 17 year old getting failing grades; it is decidedly relevant here because they stole something, it correlates directly to what they did wrong. Make them stay in that stripped out room except for meals, supervised bathroom visits and daily showers reminding them this is what it’s like in jail, prison; don’t want to go to jail/prison, don’t steal. Choice 4, following them everywhere they do go and when they wine they are being treated like babies, complain about being embarrassed remind them of what they did with the freedom their age should have allowed them to be given and them use responsibly. If you really want to get practical and effective, you take something highly valued from their room, when they come looking for it tell them you took it, because you wanted it, sold it for money exc.; when they look at you incredulously demanding their things back, indicate now they know how it feels to be stolen from, one of the huge reasons you don’t steal. Underscoring next time you could go to jail and don’t count on mamma to come bail you out; I’ll turn you in myself. Multiple comments brining us to, she had the option of alerting police to what her sons had done, what the neighbor informed her of, letting them handle it since their behavior constitutes a breach of the penal code, a crime; “Looks like someone found out the hard way that you don’t get to take the law into your own hands. More than that, she could be considered to be aiding and abetting if she didn’t report them to the police after knowing about the crime they committed. So no, she isn’t in fact a great mom for punishing her kids, she abused them, AND she didn’t report them for the crime.” Aiding and abetting is a bit strong here since she had no intention of letting what they did simply go by, the neighbor, victim of their crime was satisfied their mother would take care of it, even felt bad for her post what happened. Still she had the choice of merely contacting local juvenile services to inquire about a scared straight program, any recourse that did not involve a formal criminal record for them as well as teach them, hit home the seriousness of their actions, seek advice, check the parameters, guidelines, laws on spanking in her city, county, state before doing it. Instead, rather than taking them home, sending to their room with the admonishment they were grounded until further notice, more punishment to follow, sitting down and intensively thinking about her next move, deciding on a punishment to fit their crime. She took them home began reactionary, panic parenting probably running around the house looking for something to ‘spank’ them with; what do we want to lay odds ranting and raving the whole time she indiscriminately hit them using the aforementioned objects. Acting like a maniac, mentally unstable, PMS-ing hot mess in the course of doing so, fulfilling every stereotype about “crazy black women” trying to handle your business. At which point all she’s done is instill fear mom has gone completely nuts, creating a future powder keg living under that heightened fear, potentially escalating negative, criminal behavior. Especially the younger 2 because, while the older one admitted to officers he took items from the woman’s home he did not implicate his bothers in doing so, helping him; leading to the believable conclusion they may have simply been bystanders. The type of bystanders too shocked into a stupor, disbelieving of what their brother was doing to do anything, know what to do. Warranting a conversation to be sure yet housing a different tone than the subsequent one had between the 13 year old and his mother after ‘spanking,’ certainly not the borderline beating, repeated striking with a cord. Laying odds again spanking is a regular occurrence in her house and her kids still stole a significant quantity of things, not candy or a video game from the store, not a bike or skateboard from a classmate, neighborhood friend/acquaintance, but from a person’s home, belying the spanking cures a host of social ills, makes better people, more respectful, law abiding kids mantas adults won’t stop clinging to. Thanks to her parenting decisions she has no idea why her kids did what they did, why crucial to getting inside their heads, understanding their thinking, ultimately preventing reoccurrence; because, discussing why leads to plugging gaps in their development, showing them better solutions to getting what they want, solving problems. Were they bored, was it done on a dare, was it gang initiation, gang related, was it retaliation for the woman yelling at them to get off her law, ‘being mean to them,’ was it because there are 6 kids at home they have next to nothing and this woman has stuff seemingly laying around collecting dust they would like to have, what was it? Remember the band leader who bought different clothes, tricked out his car to show his students you can have these things getting an education not only by selling drugs; does the same apply here? We’ll never know and neither will she, making her teary-eyed, blubbering exclamations to media about keeping them out of jail, maybe ‘she should-a did nothing’ all the more pathetic. No, you weren’t supposed to do nothing; you were supposed to think before crossing the line, before abusing your children in the name of correcting them. Equally important, she had to do disturbingly little to avoid being arrested for what she saw as discipline, a harsh spanking for extremely bad behavior. Most states, particularly in the region she lives in, permit spanking under pretty lax conditions saying belts, shoes and hairbrushes are acceptable tools provided you don’t spank in anger and there are no bruises, cuts, minor open wounds, lasting marks, marks having to be visible over 24 hours to reach the threshold of abuse. As barbaric as the list of ‘tools’ sounds and as shocking as those lines you’re allowed to cross are to some, at least there are stipulations on what constitutes too far. So why couldn’t she stay within those barely there lines, limiting their spanking to the buttocks not all over their body, even moving you don’t get lacerations on their shoulder and stomach, not leaving open cuts, lacerations “that did break his skin” on one child, not leaving marks and bruises that last? Additionally worth knowing, who turned her in, who did she let see what she had done to her children, and no that is not an admonishment to better hide the violence you visit on your kids in the name of ‘discipline’ perfected behavior; rather intriguing because news usually highlights when it’s the kids who call 911 on their parents, the older son admitted to taking the things from the woman, why would he admit to it if he called police on his mother to report child abuse after being spanked for what he knew was wrong. It doesn’t add up, even in kid logic sense.
For some perspective, given to all those predisposed to the concept what they did merits what happened to them, interesting had they done this to her, left marks all over her, hit her, gone after her with a belt, video cord, even in self-defense against abuse, they would be considered monsters. If we used this as an ‘alternative’ criminal punishment for various offenses, mirroring other dictatoresque countries one might add, we would perhaps lower our crime rate; we would likewise undeniably be in blatant violation of the constitution, constitutional statutes on cruel and unusual punishment not allowed under the hollowed government document. Yet her doing it to them, her own children, makes her parent of the year; reiterating Schaquana Spears isn’t facing jail because she spanked her kids, disciplined her kids, but because she beat her kids. Social indications she is indeed in the wrong, compounded by people who said the same things about the arrested and charged abusers of Demecio Powel, world learning their names when their 60 lash beating of him with a belt for allegedly trying to join a gang, pretending to be a gangbanger and failing grades in school was posted by his mother on Facebook. Despite lacking any real evidence he actually had tried to join a gang, had joined a gang, him meekly answering he hadn’t seen his grades yet so didn’t know what they were, was given the ‘stolen’ cellphones in his pockets by someone he referred to as aunt. Posts on his mother’s Facebook page showing her taking hits from a bong, holding at least 2 separate guns, babies, young children playing with, covered in lots of real cash leading talk/news show commentators to question the true origins of where he got the idea he wanted to be in a gang. Mother, videographer both possessing a criminal record themselves, the latter refusing to give his name, show his face for exactly that reason; mother, Demetria who couldn’t be bothered to administer the desired spanking herself calling in a family friend to do so. Public held the same reaction related to Adrian Peterson who admitted to using a switch on his 4 year old for shoving another Peterson child off of a videogame, unaware or uncaring of the graphic medical, police report photos showing lashes all over the front of the toddlers arms and legs still visible up to a week later, details citing there were switch marks on the child’s genitals, child’s own statements saying he was hit in the face, feared being punched in the face if he told what happened, testifying to police leaves were shoved in his mouth. Never mind a Texas grand jury felt the need to indict surpassing a long, rich tradition of corporal punishment, the state where belts and hair brushes are ok tools for ‘spanking,’ ‘discipline’ according to legal guidelines. Adrian Peterson who had another of his children’s mothers, notice there is more than one similar to the lack of father(s) in the Louisiana case, confront him about a cut over the child’s eye coming home for a visit, him saying he was sorry but the child ‘did it to his self’ texts including the mother’s speculation, his tacit agreement he hit the child’s head on his car seat for cussing, pattern becoming clear. ‘Kids today’ a blanket justification behind leaving violent school resource officers in school, the go to excuse given for teachers losing their cool, composure and their heads hitting students, going on rage filled rants, even lunging and choking one male student, choking out one girl in the process of breaking up a fight between 2 students, how a high school kid trying to use the bathroom without a hall pass resulted in him being body slammed to the floor, results of poor parenting, code for absence of spanking at home. Citizens, fellow parents absolutely on board with schools in 20 states still allowed to paddle children even after an 8th grade boy was paddled post failing a paper, a test not a breach of discipline, the fact his parent was never notified this was indeed a school policy and something that could happen creepy, chilling words by his teacher about his spankings as a child, spanking his own children and a sinister declaration of what he was about to do to the young man over a failing grade utterly dismissed. A paddling that doesn’t cause him to achieve, strive to achieve, doesn’t help him better understand science, pass the class or grade level. Read what commenters on headline stories like the Steubenville rape case say is acceptable for a bystander drunkenly discussing a scene where he wasn’t even present, had no firsthand knowledge of, proven by news reporters, graphic depictions of castration, dismemberment, maiming, beatings, breaking bones all just in their eyes. Commenters approving of the death threats leveled by adults at the middle school kids filmed verbally abusing their bus monitor, throwing in a fair amount of the above, equally ghastly descriptions, and you quickly realize, if they did any of the things they talked about, they would go to jail routinely for more years than the offenses committed by the teens in question. And we wonder where kids get it, why society is so violent; oh but these kids actually did something criminal, and it wasn’t some minor infraction, they burglarized a woman’s home— “I support what she did BUT if they allow this to go unpunished then where do we draw the line? Can you beat your kids the same way if they don’t clean their room? Are we gong to have to draw up a list of offenses in which its OK to whip your kids and a list of offenses in which its not OK?? And exactly how much of a beating is acceptable? What if she beat one of them into a coma? Or beat them with a golf club and broke one of their legs? Well lucky for us, the rules have already been made and she broke them. Even though, for a robbery, those kids got what they deserved.” [Sic] Preceding statement demonstrating the conflict waging within society about the parameters of too far, one of the few raising the logical question of if the law stands by and calls this ho-hum discipline, where will the line marked acceptable be extended next? Speaking of too far, how many times have we misunderstood what actually happened, stopped listening after the speculation, preliminary theories, never tuning back in to learn what was found out by trained medical professionals, further investigation? How many times has the media’s initial report distorted appearances, attributed things to the accused in truth said by their parents, lawyers, social media posts they didn’t make or authorize? Media who portrayed it like the students in the bus monitor case knew the woman’s son committed suicide and decided to taunt her with it when they did not; yes a tale of why not to say horrible things but far less sinister in that context. Outraged people who couldn’t believe Ma’lik Richmond was getting out of juvenile jail after a single year for raping a girl, incensed his lawyer tried to make him seem sympathetic, they interpreted as painting him the victim, taking out their frustrations on him, who after release from jail kept his head down and mouth shut. Belying the oh these are serial rapists in the making trope attached to members of the ‘Steubenville rape crew,’ both he and Trent Mays have been out for at least a year no one hearing from them again; both receiving sentences and getting out ‘so soon’ based on what they didn’t do compared with social media stories, the understanding laying out a competent defense is not creating a sob story for rapists, successfully meeting the judge’s requirements while in juvenile detention. Girls orchestrate beating of classmate to post on YouTube, a majority of the public never hearing it wasn’t some random act of violence, a because they were just that cruel scenario rather retaliation for perceived humiliation by the other party, descriptions of them at the police station talking about cheerleading, seeming not to understand where they were embodying in the CBS’ Early Show experts’ mind why we have a juvenile justice system. Injuries inflicted on the victim including limited vision in one eye post attack inconsistent with what the public saw on the news prompting questions if we can’t figure out how she ended up medically shock-y, meeting the physical symptoms for medical shock, not just shook up emotionally, never mind the eye damage, how were they supposed to know, predict the consequences of their actions? Repeated a cautionary tale about keeping your hands to yourself sure, but not for the life imprisonment, oh these are future psychopaths commentary rendered about them; again individuals we’ve not heard from since. Indicating lesser punishments and comprehensive juvenile justice sentences and mandates work too, not singularly violence and lengthy terms in adult prison/jail.
Sampling comments and with them large swaths of public opinion, it aligns to opposing observations, a litany of counter opinions analyzing incidents involving spanking, child/teen clashes with authority plastered on the news concluding they aren’t about student misapplied civil disobedience, the incredibly high levels of disrespect and disregard for authority, human life and basic decency, horrifying acts committed by kids, adolescents, teens necessitating extreme, severe consequences from parents. Quite on the contrary, it’s about parent, adult, authority anger; proving we aren’t seeking justice and discipline respectively, we are seeking revenge. Parents routinely angry they have to deal with age appropriate infractions from spilling something, fighting with siblings, saying a bad word, tantrum thrown at the store mistakenly thinking if they raised them correctly, like they thought they did, they wouldn’t have to deal with it; wrong! Parents who take misbehavior in public, the ‘rude’ thing a child said, minor trouble at school profoundly personally, unbelieving a child of theirs could do such a thing; response identical whether you’re talking about a shoving match on the playground, a broken toy, talking back or big issues like burglary, stealing— discrediting ‘it’s what they did’ mantra.’ Leaving us children giving testimonials such as the following, “My parents hit me with a belt if I misbehaved, and I got into drugs as a kid and talked back all the time because I learned that authority was arbitrary and cruel. I was right to do it – my parents often did immature, dangerous things and talking back protected me and also taught me to stick up for myself. My best friend’s parents never laid a hand on her or even yelled at her, and she was the perfect model kid, because she didn’t want them to be disappointed in her. As an adult, I respect my parents because I know they did the best they could, and I want to make a good life for myself. I work hard and have a master’s degree. So does my best friend. But I do well *despite* the discipline. Everyone saying that kids would learn respect if they got smacked around more is a fool. Studies show it makes kids much more aggressive and anti-authority – maybe not every kid, but that’s the trend when the issue is studied. Modeling good behavior and giving kids non-violent consequences actually works much better. It sounds like this thread is full of awful parents who think you have to either neglect your kids and let them do anything they want, or hit them and yell at them. Why not just be reasonable, provide boundaries, and praise them when they live up to your expectations? No wonder we have problems with kids, judging from these comments.” [Sic] Other facets of authority mandated to interact with young people, teachers, police, school administrators readily ending in violence can be attributed to this spot on assessment of many a situation: “These people are OBSESSED with the concept of respect, and yet have no idea where kids this age are in their psychological development. They want to say “jump” and expect the kids to say “how high” without a pause. They want teenagers to have the social reasoning skills of an adult in their 30s, but the subservient and childish attitude of a kid in a “teacher-pleaser” grade (6, 7, 8, and 9 year olds). They’ve got this idea of “good, disciplined” teenagers marching in formation and chanting “yes sir.” But bro, that’s not how teenagers and preteens act. Even the most well-behaved, properly raised teenager is going to be a pain sometimes, because developmentally, they’re supposed to be questioning everything and challenging authority. But these so-called adults in their lives are, again, OBSESSED with feeling “respected,” and feel entitled to “respect” (though what they mean is “unquestioning subservience”), and therefore, feel entitled to fly into a violent rage when a teenager is “argumentative.” Or “defiant.” Or “didn’t listen.” You see how in none of these videos is the child actually being violent or dangerous. They’re doing things like sassing back, raising their voice, or silently refusing to do something the first or second time they’re asked. Which contradicts the fantasy these people have who went into education or law enforcement to “get respect” from a less powerful group.” [Sic] As if those 2 assessments weren’t telling enough, it isn’t just the abuse cases spanking perpetuates, nor is it simply newfangled psychology telling us spanking is bad and why, a new overview of 50 years of studies and over 150,000 children noting how similar the effects are on behavior, development, mental stability to actual psychical abuse; further scrutiny of these studies, parameters of their original format singularly focused on open hand spankings, not those done with objects, belts, straps, shoes, spoons, hair brushes, harsh corporal punishment employed in more and more homes. Studies literally linking corporal punishment and less gray, brain matter, documented significant changes in the brain, synapsis and synaptic connection decreases may be newer but no less valid having their basis in brain scans, only differing common denominator spanking or not spanking in the analyzed children. But every time a something other than white kid fails a test, does poorly in school it’s ghetto culture, no importance placed on education at home; every time a kid, predictably something other than white, gets into a fight at school, behaves aggressively, it’s their home environment, neighborhood not the repetitive use of spanking for every minor issue, how spanking has altered their brain function. It’s spanking’s documented negative effects coupled with the justifications generated by the public defending our mother Schaquana Spears and scores like her, talking about how at the end of her rope, fed up she must have been, her own exclamations she didn’t know what else to do; so losing your temper, being frustrated is an excuse to spank your child, not being able to come up with anything, anything else to correct your child’s behavior is an excuse to hit them by varying degrees? There should be something fundamentally wrong with that statement when read similar to her repetitive blubbering she doesn’t understand; you don’t understand firstly to discipline isn’t the same thing as to hit, more to the point, you don’t understand some simple guidelines, during spankings you cannot leave lasting marks going past 24 hours, cannot break skin, cause them to bleed, hit them anywhere outside their buttocks? How hard is that to understand, or is it like so much else, you don’t want to understand? Changed, decreased, malfunctioning brain activity mixed with a fixation on respect and power provides one extended explanation for the badly behaved adults who were statistically likely to have been spanked doing things even teens today won’t. Who could forget the Jimmy Carter look alike harassing a kid about his skateboarding not because he used the private skate park for residents only, despite being told by a cop he could skate there, but because the older man had an obvious problem with skaters on the public sidewalk and driveway? Neighborhood feuds ending in murder, terrorizing your neighbors and lying about attending anger management to the judge landing you in jail for perjury, the 51 year old guy who attacked a motorcycle couple who was, wait for it, probably intoxicated, the 84 year old who handled his 13 year old allegedly vandalizing neighbor by dumping a bowl of urine on him earning him an assault charge and jail time. Here are handpicked incidents clearly illustrating the best cross-section of the phenomenon but every other week one is captured by local news, every few months one elevates to the level of national news coverage, morning show segments in hot news, trends exc.; what do we wanna bet people like Curtis Reeves, Michael Dunn, George Zimmerman, Theodore Wafer, John Spooner were spanked? Mr. Reeves and Mr. Spooner committing 2 of the most asinine and barbaric crimes arguably in recent history; one gunning down the father of a young toddler post being hit with a bag of popcorn during an argument over the man’s cellphone use. The other accusing his 13 year old neighbor of stealing his guns; deciding to confront him while he took out the trash armed with, yet another, gun Spooner subsequently shot the boy when he denied doing so, entire scene caught on his home surveillance cameras. All but one serving lengthy to life prison sentences; yet it’s all hail spanking and the ‘old school way of doing things, the high instance of mental retardation it causes god bless America.
Schaquana Spears represents at minimum, a 2 fold problem, as the HLN panel points out a need to do more than simply acquire more quality foster homes to remove unsafe kids from homes like this, simply leave them alone because this is not abuse but old fashion discipline the way it was done when society wasn’t in chaos, rather to educate parents on non-violent, effective parenting tactics. She also represents an American society that refuses to recognize and acknowledge its larger role in causing this problem and not just through latte liberals crafting more laws tying parents’ hands in exerting the proper, reasonable amount of authority over their children, but interconnected things i.e. what were these children doing unsupervised, home alone? The fact affordable and childcare is an oxymoron, back to laying odds, what do we want to guess the 13 year old was responsible for his 5 siblings while mom worked, shifting hours no less; is it any wonder he cracked, resorted to acting out? Instead of increased programs and places for children to go a-la Boys and Girls Club, specific programs offered throughout summer when there is no school, mentoring chances for kids whom the term babysitter no longer applies due to their age, we’ve opted for curfews and eliminating funding. Ta-Nehisi Coats spoke about it in his scathing Atlantic article on police reform pondering the reason police are so bad is we’ve sent them to deal with every social ill not limited to law and order, things better handled by trained counselors, social workers, job training. “I can’t see the image of Tamir Rice aimlessly kicking snow outside the Cleveland projects and think of how little we invest in occupying the minds of children. A bored Tamir Rice decided to occupy his time with a airsoft gun. He was killed.” [Sic] Initially finding his hypothesis too simplistic for what ultimately happened to Tamir, his other listed examples and the examples our nation is already all too familiar with, virtually exonerating police for incompetent, violent, illegal, against procedure behavior, it dovetails perfectly in with our current conversation; Ms. Spears was forced to leave her oldest 3 children home alone to go to work because we are unwilling to provide enriching, engaging things for them to do in a safe environment. No, not a call for year round school, youth work programs designed for younger and younger ages, rather fun, engaging activities, community center type areas free of charge to community members. Forestalling the knee jerk assertions harkening back to ‘the good old days’ when we wondered the neighborhood from after breakfast until dark entertaining ourselves, didn’t get arrested, didn’t go to jail, shouting we don’t need constant supervision of older kids, yammering about the colliding of the current generation, consider the movie Sleepers, the boys’ prank on a hotdog vender in the mid 1960’s gets them sent to a reform school; larger story being their prolonged abuse, their growing up to be hitmen and eventually killing their abusers. However tell us again that’s not how some kids behaved, how kids in your generation never did anything serious, never stole under similar conditions; more accurately they did but we truly treated them as juveniles, made use of diversion and like programs as opposed to trying them as adults. Moreover their often willful misunderstanding of non-spanking discipline techniques for all ages undermines what non-violent, no spanking parents are able to achieve; no, approach for a child who had burglarized someone’s home would not be a time out, removal of ‘cookies’ rather increased chores, possibly a stripped down room, perhaps walking around town with a sign announcing what they had done, mobilizing adequate supervision to head off the problem to begin with. Simultaneously undermining the true reasons behind juvenile teen crime, horrifying stories we read about; I/we were board is not the panacea answer to the dead homeless man, the assaulted developmentally delayed person, the old lady, old man. Rather the stock defensive answer given by teens to cops who neither understand nor care about their side of the story, provocation initiated by the adult believable via stories shown throughout the reading; the stock interpretation by cops already having made up their mind and only minorly trained in psychology before booking the kid, lobbying they be tried as an adult. Almost unnoticed, who do we marginalize as a society, treat as less than human beings but the homeless ‘degenerates who just need to get a job, quit drinking, stop using drugs, the developmentally delayed, mentally ill persons seen as stupid, retarded, crazy, something we upstanding citizen X don’t have time for, and get them out of the street, I don’t want to see them, the age-d who have ‘nothing to give to society;’ who then gets beat up, killed, assaulted? Their behavior belying their harmlessness and helplessness; my work a fine line between opening the eyes of people to elder, supposed to be venerable persons’ behavior and instilling not all old people behave poorly. Also blithely ignored the mentally ill teen who is psychotic, mentally compromised when they do attack someone; those doing exactly what was done to them under the guise of discipline moving to abuse, too often sexual in nature; instead clinging to another stock go to violent, thug, music, movies and explicit television made them do it regardless how many 4th and 5th grade students like those assembled by ABC news who blame the users not game content alluding to mental illness. The slender man stabbings happened because the perpetrators genuinely thought this internet urban legend would hurt their families if they didn’t do what he said, showing an inability to distinguish reality and fantasy, but it’s the ills of media not mental instability, dysfunction. Several remarked on the reality Spears has 6 kids and is a single mother calling that part of the problem, quickly passing judgement saying politely she needs parenting classes and birth control; impolitely stating e-gads neuter this cow. Both utterly laughable examining the endless conservative pushes over the last decade to block women from abortion, outright bans states tried to pass recently, name all birth control methods, pills to implanted devices abortifacient, media surrogates a-la rush Limbaugh calling women sluts for demanding religious based employers, schools cover insurance housing said birth control options routinely to treat reproductive medical conditions not caused by sex, being sexually active; the medical guidelines active in many areas stating a woman must be under age X and have up to 5 kids before having her tubes tied prior to age Y. Including a mentally ill 32 year old preparing to marry her fiancé, knowing in advance she didn’t want children, having tired standard birth control exacerbating said illness, seeking tubal ligation (tube tying) from the appropriate specialist and being denied; my friend has 4 kids precisely because of the guidelines and being told after her first 2 she was too young, post her 3rd the hospital said they would set it up, never did, idea lost in parenting 3 kids youngest being a newborn, her 4th a complete surprise going to the hospital for abdominal pain and coming home with a baby despite being under the care of a general practitioner who found her anemic, having high blood pressure and newly diabetic. She returned to that doctor newest baby in tow asking if they missed something, requesting a referral to have her tubes tied instead doctor plying her with a birth control method since spawning lawsuits for debilitating complications; losing her insurance rendering that now impossible. Said practitioner refusing the permanent surgical birth control despite her age approaching 35 and the safe threshold for the standard pill, pregnancy complications they documented not knowing fully what they were, complications had with her last 2 children. Conservatives equally complicit in why we don’t have better birth control methods for sexually active women over 35, directly responsible for the abysmal state of sex ed. in schools scaling back science classes to prevent its dissemination, hiring people like Pam Stenzel to do religious based abstinence and purity talks while baring the school nurse for giving out information on birth control upon request. But it’s as simple as get an abortion, use birth control or keep your legs closed, where is the father? Conservative trifecta of no wonder we are where we are couched in their stalling of equal pay for equal work measures geared toward women in the workplace; equal pay for equal work that would allow Schaquana Spears to work less, be with her children more, pay less in child care fees, depend less on government programs, neighborhood, community mentoring facilities to mind her kids when she can’t. Equal pay is still bad, underserving for women who choose to have children.
Actions have consequences a favored line when extoling the acceptability of spanking the virtues it allegedly instills, fosters in young people, defending it as cultural tradition, particularly in the south, part of the American fabric like apple pie, the 4th of July Christmas and Mardi-Gras. Easily forgotten actions have consequences also applies to adults; it isn’t largely dismissed when you come of age, when you reach 18, 21, achieve middle age. Your parenting shouldn’t be making headlines but when it does, when your parenting crosses the line, you better be ready to accept those consequences. Consequences exactly what Schaquana Spears experience in both being booked into jail and having her children taken; consequences one final time not for, spanking, attempting to discipline her kids but for the brutal, physically damaging, abusive way she elected to do so. District attorney Hillar Moore’s outline a picture of what happens when you remove discipline totally not when you stop interchanging violence, hitting and discipline, when you remove the physical pain for discipline. Were they supposed to wait until her child was severely injured like the 6 year old whose mother became angry with him yanking off his scrotum and then trying to reattach it with superglue? Yes an actual story with an actual legitimate police complaint, or the 2 year old beheaded by his mother only recently regaining custody from the state? We’re supposed to follow in the footsteps of these New Mexico parents making their 16 year old stay in a tent for 1 month over bad grades and stealing, what he stole being his sister’s tablet and i-pod to use after being banned form electronic due to aforementioned grades, when we stopped sending kids to wilderness boot camps many of them forcibly closed after children ended up dead from malnourishment, exhaustion, heat stroke, shock, Arizona sheriff in similar trouble for his inhuman treatment of prisoners forced outside in identical heat, opportunities for element exposure. Worse regardless of numerous calls to police local CPS see nothing illegal because the teen is allowed to come in at night to sleep, for toilet visits, has access to food and water. No, we will report child abuse if we suspect it, see it; telling when a woman who has devoted her life to being a nanny, much of it teaching parents how to non-violently parent, helping many U.S. and U.K. parents along the way. Exactly what happened to Super Nanny Jo Frost who reported a possible spanking, with a belt, of a special needs child. Keeping in mind the will of the people unelected the family court judge caught on video repeatedly hitting his daughter over potentially illegally downloading games onto her computer even after a review reinstated him to his bench and the statute of limitations had run out on any abuse charges. As much for her having cerebral palsy, this being unbecoming conduct in their eyes for a family court judge who makes decisions daily on neglect and abuse cases, whether parents legally deserve custody of their children returned to them. As it was for seeing him turn out the lights before administering the ‘spanking,’ threatening to hit her in the face if she didn’t lay down and take it belt pulled back prepared to strike, saying he would beat her into submission, his wife on Anderson Cooper’s then talk show saying she was trying to be obedient to him, felt compelled to be obedient to him, him admitting to losing his temper. Understanding one last time the people charged here, convicted here including Spears were charged under long standing statutes pertaining to child abuse not newer rules outlawing spanking; Adrian Peterson avoided jail time with a plea deal and counseling, Demecio Powel’s abusers are in jail. Video, police photos solidifying in the public mindset what too many call discipline is instead abuse. The will of the majority resoundingly saying they want to end barbaric spanking a gateway to child abuse in some cases sexual more than they want the purported benefits, better behaved kids it, evidence in the modern era has yet to materialize, it produces.